You’re the one who gets it done. The one with the high standards, the glowing reviews, the color-coded to-do list. People call you reliable, proactive, even exceptional. But behind all that gold-star energy… you’re exhausted.

If you’ve ever felt like your performance is great but your nervous system is fried — you might not be leading, you might be overfunctioning.

Overfunctioning is when you consistently take on more than your share: not just in tasks, but in responsibility. You mentally track everything, step in to prevent mistakes, carry the emotional tone of your team, and try to make sure everything and everyone is okay.

It can look like excellence, but it often comes from anxiety. And left unchecked, it leads straight to burnout.

I’ve been there myself, back in my global corporate HR consulting job. I wasn’t working excessive hours — 45 most weeks — but I was operating at 125% productivity for every single minute of those hours. I kept volunteering for more, overdelivering on every project, and saying yes when my plate was already full. I thought I was being a strong leader, but I was actually exhausting myself trying to do it all.

If that sounds familiar, this post is for you. Let’s walk through five steps to break the cycle of overfunctioning at work — and build a more sustainable way of working.

 

Step 1: Spot the Signs You’re Overfunctioning at Work

Overfunctioning is sneaky. It hides behind helpfulness, achievement, and being the person who can “handle it.”

Here’s how it often shows up in the workplace:

• You struggle to delegate and end up doing it all yourself
• You take on extra work, even when you’re already overwhelmed
• You feel responsible for fixing other people’s problems or stress
• You avoid asking for help — or feel guilty when you do
• You feel drained, underappreciated, or resentful, even if no one asked you to take on so much

These aren’t just quirks of a high achiever — they’re signs that you may be carrying too much. Sometimes it’s hard to see this clearly because overfunctioning often looks like leadership. But just because people appreciate your effort doesn’t mean it’s sustainable.

Take a moment and ask yourself:
Where are you consistently doing more than your role requires?
What would it feel like to step back — even just a little?

Still not sure if you are over functioning? 

The concept of overfunctioning actually comes from the therapy world, where it’s often used to describe how we show up in relationships. So if you’re wondering whether this label fits, look beyond your job title. Do you also feel the need to fix, smooth, or carry others in your family or friendships? If so, then chances are this pattern shows up for you at work, too. 

 

Step 2: Understand What’s Driving Your Overfunctioning

Once you’ve spotted the pattern, the next step is naming what’s underneath. Overfunctioning isn’t a personality flaw — it’s often a reflex built over time. One that forms in response to both the environment around us and the beliefs we carry within.

Here are five of the most common root causes I see in high-achieving women — and how we can begin to untangle them.

 

1. Bias in the Workplace: Prove-It-Again and Performance Over Potential

Research shows that women are often promoted based on past performance, while men are more likely to be promoted based on future potential. Even when women outperform, they still face more scrutiny, harsher judgments, and fewer chances to rise. So we compensate — we do more, say yes to everything, chase perfection, and try to be “bulletproof.”

But here’s the thing: Overdelivering in every direction isn’t the only way to succeed. With the right support and intentional strategy, it’s absolutely possible to shift your energy to what matters most, shine in high-impact areas, and still protect your sanity. I help my clients do exactly that.

 

2. Low Confidence and Burnout (Yes, They’re Connected)

One of the key dimensions of burnout is something called reduced professional efficacy — in simpler terms, feeling like you’re not doing enough or aren’t good enough, even when you objectively are. It’s not just self-doubt; it’s a red flag that you’re running on empty.

When your confidence takes a hit, overfunctioning feels like a fix. You try to work harder to prove your worth, but the harder you work, the more disconnected you feel from it. It’s a vicious loop — but one you can absolutely break. Awareness is the first step toward rebuilding a more accurate and empowering sense of your own value.

 

3. Family Systems: Where You First Learned to Overfunction

Before we ever had a boss or a performance review, we had a family — and many of us learned early that the way to stay safe, loved, or in control was to be responsible for everyone and everything. If you were the helper, the fixer, or the one who kept the peace, those patterns don’t just vanish at work. They follow us — until we examine them and choose differently.

What’s beautiful here is that once we see it, we can soften it. Overfunctioning may have served you well once, but it doesn’t have to run the show anymore.

 

4. Cultural Norms: Internalized Capitalism and Toxic Productivity

We live in a world that celebrates output over rest and praises burnout as ambition. From the “girlboss” era to hustle culture to the subtle message that rest must be earned — we’ve absorbed the idea that our value is tied to how much we produce.

But here’s what I want you to know: You are allowed to be excellent without exhausting yourself. You are allowed to be ambitious and set boundaries. And with some recalibration, your career can feel energizing again.

 

5. Human Giver Syndrome

If you’ve ever felt guilty for resting, selfish for setting a boundary, or anxious when prioritizing your own needs — you’re not broken. You might be caught in Human Giver Syndrome (A concept first coined in Kate Manne’s book, Down Girl). It describes how women are socialized to be selfless, pleasant, and endlessly giving — often at the expense of their own wellbeing. Overfunctioning isn’t a flaw here, it’s a symptom. And once you name it, you can begin to opt out.

You can read more about human giver syndrome and burnout here.

Try this:
Which of these roots feels most familiar to you? What’s one small way you could loosen its grip — just for today?

 

Step 3: Shift the Internal Story

Once you’ve uncovered the roots of your overfunctioning, the next step is to gently challenge the story those patterns have written in your mind. Because overfunctioning doesn’t start with your calendar — it starts with your conditioning.

It often sounds like:

• “If I’m not overdelivering, I’m underperforming.”
• “I only deserve rest when everything is done.”
• “I’m valuable because I’m useful.”
• “If I stop, everything will fall apart.”

Let’s be clear: these aren’t harmless thoughts. They are identity-level beliefs — and they quietly erode your confidence, your boundaries, and your ability to sustainably lead.

But here’s the truth you deserve to know:

 Your self-worth is not earned through your output.
Your right to rest isn’t something you have to prove.
Your success at work does not define your value as a human.

You are not more worthy when you’re productive, nor less lovable when you’re tired. You do not have to earn ease, joy, or a moment to breathe.

This mindset shift doesn’t happen overnight — especially when the world around you still rewards hustle and martyrdom. But it can happen, and it’s a game-changer. In coaching, I help clients replace fear-based scripts with values-aligned ones. Not from a place of laziness, but from sustainability and self-respect.

Your new internal story might sound like:

• “I’m allowed to be ambitious and rest.”
• “I lead best when I lead from wholeness.”
• “I don’t have to prove my worth. I already have it.”

Try this:
Write down a few of your go-to mental scripts when you’re feeling pressure to overperform. Then, rewrite them in a way that’s still true — but kinder, more grounded, and actually useful.

Example:
Unhelpful script: “If I don’t do it all, I’ll let everyone down.”

Supportive rewrite: “When I do less, others have the opportunity to step up — and I show up more fully for what matters most.”

 

Step 4: Change the External Behavior

Mindset shifts are powerful, but they don’t create change unless they’re paired with new behaviors. Overfunctioning is a full-body habit — and it takes real, intentional action to interrupt.

This part is where things can feel a little uncomfortable. After all, if you’re used to being the fixer, the helper, or the go-to person, pulling back might feel… irresponsible. Or selfish. Or scary.

That’s normal. And it doesn’t mean you’re doing it wrong. It means you’re growing.

Here’s what changing the behavior might look like in real life:

• Delegating a task, even if you’re not 100% sure it will be done your way
• Not jumping in to fix something that’s technically not your job
• Letting someone else struggle a little, knowing that growth often comes through effort
• Resisting the urge to say yes, just because it’s easier than explaining your no
• Pausing before overcommitting, and asking, “Do I actually want or need to do this?”

None of this is about slacking or settling — it’s about leading smarter, not harder. It’s about building trust in others, and trust in yourself to know what’s truly yours to carry.

In She Leads Well, this is where I help clients define their “Minimum Viable Job Description” and their “Top 3 Priorities” — the core responsibilities that matter most in their role. When you have clarity around what actually moves the needle, you can stop trying to “do it all” and start shining at the things that matter most. The outcome? Doing less but actually performing better. 

Plus? You become a better leader. Because when you stop micromanaging, overdelivering, or rescuing everyone else, you don’t just free up your energy — you empower others to grow, too.

Try this:
What’s one current habit or behavior that proves you’re overfunctioning at work? Maybe it’s jumping in to fix other people’s problems, overpreparing for every meeting, or saying yes before checking your bandwidth.

Now ask:
What would a healthier, more sustainable version of that behavior look like — one that honors both your leadership and your limits?

Write it out. Name it. Then try it, just once, and notice how it feels.

(Pst- Want more help with changing stress-inducing habits at work? Check out my habit change cheat sheet.)

 

Step 5: Enforce and Protect Your New Norm

Creating a more sustainable way of working isn’t a one-time decision — it’s a series of daily choices. Even after you’ve shifted your mindset and made meaningful behavior changes, the pull to overfunction can come back strong.

Because let’s be honest: the world still rewards overfunctioning. You might get praised for “going above and beyond” or being the “rock” everyone leans on. But the praise doesn’t outweigh the cost — and you know that now.

This step is about reinforcing your new normal and teaching the people around you what that new normal looks like.

Yep — you have to train others how to interact with the healthier version of you. That might mean saying, “Here’s what I’m focusing on right now,” or “I’ll no longer be staying late unless it’s an emergency.” You don’t have to explain or justify — but being clear helps others recalibrate their expectations.

Here’s how else you can protect your progress:

• Set and re-set your boundaries regularly, especially during high-stress seasons.
• Pause before you commit. Ask: Is this aligned with my values, or am I falling back into old habits?
• Check in weekly. What’s working? What feels heavy? What’s creeping back in?
• Build a support system that honors your growth — people who cheer for your boundaries, not just your hustle.

This is also where deeper coaching can make all the difference. In She Leads Well, we create these new norms together, and we protect them through practical tools, real-time support, and a community of women doing the same.

Because boundaries don’t just set themselves. And the system around you likely won’t change unless you start the shift — and sustain it.

Try this:
What’s one way you can communicate your new boundaries or working style to someone else this week? Keep it simple, direct, and grounded in self-respect — not apology.

(Does the idea of setting boundaries make you cringe? You might enjoy Medra Glover Tawwab’s book, Set Boundaries, Find Peace.) 

 

You Don’t Have to Earn Your Right to Rest

If you’ve been overfunctioning at work — always the first to volunteer, the last to log off, and the one everyone leans on — please know this: it’s not a personal flaw. It’s a survival strategy. One that was likely shaped by your environment, reinforced by your experiences, and rewarded by the systems around you.

But here’s the good news: strategies can be unlearned. And better ones can be built.

You can still be a high performer, a strategic leader, and a trusted team member without sacrificing your health, joy, or identity in the process.

The key isn’t to do more — it’s to do things differently.

That’s the heart of my coaching program, She Leads Well. We address both the internal habits (like overfunctioning, perfectionism, and people pleasing) and the external realities (like lack of clarity, toxic cultures, and unsustainable workloads). Together, we create a version of leadership and success that actually supports your well-being — not burns you out.

If this resonated with you, let’s talk.

Book a free burnout coaching consult call
Let’s make space for a version of your career that feels as good on the inside as it looks on the outside.